well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
