Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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