i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My dick has a subreddit
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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