its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
