I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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