Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
