what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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