I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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