and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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