No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just high enough for therapy.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
