ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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