like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
being pregnant is like rehab
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
