Will you blow on my dice?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
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