so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just pee around me
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Randomize
