I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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