i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
