why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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