True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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