Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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