my sisters under your porch take her home
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I need to align my fucking chakras
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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