i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
