why didn't you poke me back
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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