THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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