It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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