remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
