i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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