I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
