I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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