I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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