Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
