I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
