Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
