he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The power of my boobs compel you
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
