smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
