Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
