What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
