There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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