Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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