Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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