I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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