So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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