Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
