Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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