i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
