I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
dude. I can hear the air.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
