I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
