Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
