The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This can only be settled by a dance off.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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