she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
