I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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