well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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